The month of May has been busy for the Schick family. My daughter graduated kindergarten, we celebrated Mother’s Day and I have a new nephew. I enjoy celebrations and new life.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I went through a season of depression. I found myself not being able to find energy to make it through the day. I was going through the motions of arriving to work, going home, spending time with family and going to bed. There was little or no joy to be found. It was hurting my family and me. I knew I needed to let go of so many fears I had lived with for so long. The fear of not being perfect. The fear of being a failure. The fear of rejection.

Satan uses our fears to hold us back and rob our joy. We can’t carry out our purpose so he wins. Fear becomes our security blanket. We find ourselves not wanting to trust God, but holding on to fear because it’s comfortable. We feel control. Can we truly experience joy, hope and peace and let go of fear? Does God care about our hurts? How can we let go and be focused on today?

In Loving Natalee, there is a section of the book I read that stays with me. Beth Holloway, Natalee’s mom, visits a church in Aruba. There are crosses lined up outside on the ground. She has the taxi wait for her and kneels before each cross praying for peace. She is crying out to God in the midst of her brokenness and pain. God is speaking to her heart. He tells her that he has Natalee. He has been with her this whole time and has not ever let her go. In the light, in the darkness he has held her. Beth experiences the feeling of peace wash over her.

I can only imagine the guilt, fear and what-if’s that was going through Beth’s mind. God met her at the lowest point and held her. In her grief, he carried her. He doesn’t meet us at our darkest point to shame, question, or judge. He speaks right to our hearts when we call out to him.

I grew up as a pastor’s kid and thought I could be perfect. I wanted to please everyone. That was illogical thinking and an impossible goal. I was not able to meet everyone’s ideal of a perfect pastor’s kid. I march to the beat of my own drummer at times. I don’t always say the right things and I’m not an eloquent speaker. God didn’t call me to be perfect. If I would have let go of my fear, I would have realized that God made me perfectly the way I am. I wore a mask to protect myself from rejection, but what I didn’t realize is that I was causing myself more pain. My security should have come from God and not from what others thought of me.

Listed below are inspirational reads I found comforting during my season of depression.

Title: Victim of Grace: When God’s Goodness Prevails
Author: Robin Jones Gunn
Publisher: Zondervan
Publication Date: April 27th, 2013
Format: Paperback
Length: 205 pages

From the publisher:
Robin Jones Gunn reveals poignant truths from her life as well as from the lives of women in the Bible as she flips the notion that we are at the mercy of circumstances. She asks, what if God has dreams for you? What if he is accomplishing those dreams in the midst of shattered hopes? When life doesn’t go as expected, it’s easy to feel like a victim. We look at the events that have gone wrong and view our lives as impaired. What if we could see our future as God sees it? Would our view radically change if we understood we are indeed victims rather than of happenstance? God, the Relentless Lover, has vigorously sought you. He has instilled dreams in your heart that are grander than you can imagine. But the route to their fulfillment often is through a path you wouldn’t seek. What if God wants to take the hopes that tug at your heart and enliven them? Are you ready to live inside the mysterious joy of being a victim of grace?
Victim of Grace is one of my all time favorite reads and was a huge help to me during my depression. I viewed myself and God’s grace differently after reading this book.
Purchase here from Amazon.

Robin Jones Gunn is the author of the beloved Christy Miller series for teens and Sisterchick novels. Find more about her here.

Title: If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil
Author: Randy Alcorn
Publisher: Multnomah Books
Publication Date: September 15th, 2009
Format: Hardcover
Length: 512 pages

From the publisher:
Every one of us will experience suffering. Many of us are experiencing it now. As we have seen in recent years, evil is real in our world, present and close to each one of us.
In such difficult times, suffering and evil beg questions about God–Why would an all-good and all-powerful God create a world full of evil and suffering? And then, how can there be a God if suffering and evil exist? 
These are ancient questions, but also modern ones as well. Atheists such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and even former believers like Bart Ehrman answer the question simply: The existence of suffering and evil proves there is no God. 
In this captivating new book, best-selling author Randy Alcorn challenges the logic of disbelief, and brings a fresh, realistic, and thoroughly biblical insight to the issues these important questions raise. 
Alcorn offers insights from his conversations with men and women whose lives have been torn apart by suffering, and yet whose faith in God burns brighter than ever. He reveals the big picture of who God is and what God is doing in the world now and forever. And he equips you to share your faith more clearly and genuinely in this world of pain and fear. 

Purchase the book here.

Randy Alcorn is the New York Times bestselling author of more than 50 books and the founder of Eternal Perspective Ministries.

Title: So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been A Bad Friend to Us
Author: Beth Moore
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Publication Date: February 2nd, 2010
Format: Hardcover
Length: 352 pages

From the publisher:
Perhaps one of the biggest issues all women face is their own insecurity. Beth Moore, one of today’s most admired and trusted Christian writers, wants women to be free from the insecurity trap. So Long, Insecurity will strike a chord with women everywhere, as Beth speaks truth into the lives of readers, showing them how to deal with their innermost fears, rediscover their God-given dignity, and develop a whole new perspective–a stronger sense of self. Women of all ages and backgrounds will resonate with this message of security and discover truths that will free them emotionally and spiritually and lead them to a better life as they walk with God.
Read more about Beth Moore here.
Purchase book here from Amazon.

Title: Enough
Author: Sharon Jaynes
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication Date: April 3rd, 2018″
Format: Paperback
Length: 274 pages

From the publisher:
Do the voices in your head say you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…or just not enough, period? It’s time to stop listening to lies that sabotage your confidence and embrace the truth of who God says you are.
Popular author and speaker Sharon Jaynes exposes the lies that keep you bogged down in shame, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. By recognizing the lies and replacing them with truth, you’ll be able to silence the voice inside that whispers you’re just not good enough, accept God’s grace and move past failures that have defined and confined you.
Your confidence and faith will grow when you trade self-defeating thoughts for God’s truth. Today is the day to embrace your incredible worth as a woman who is uniquely fashioned and spiritually empowered.
Purchase the book here.

Sharon Jaynes is a popular speaker and writer. Jaynes has been in the ministry for over 25 years.She served as the Vice President of the Proverbs 31 ministry and is the co-founder of Girlfriends in God. Learn more about Jaynes here.

Parenting…

I carry lessons I learned towards my parenting. My parenting may look different than others, but that doesn’t mean I can’t parent Ella or provide her with what she needs. The same goes for you.

Mom Confessions and Tips:

• I don’t like to cook all the time so we usually order food, eat sandwiches or I make a plate of fruit/veggies. Occasionally I will cook spaghetti, sloppy joes, casserole, tacos and breakfast for dinner.
• I let my child watch TV each evening and on weekend mornings so I can sleep in.
• On the weekends she occasionally stays up until 10:00pm.
• Sometimes I bribe her with treats/TV time so she will listen.
• I take her to Target way too much. I think she believes it’s her second home.
• I buy crafts at the store because she loves them, but also so I can read/watch TV without distraction. I find them $10.00 or less at Hobby Lobby, the $1.00 store and the $1.00 section at Target.
• I do not have the gift of teaching. I take Ella to museums, free educational activities in the community and read to her. That is about as much patience as I have. God bless all of you that have the patience. You are my heroes.
• I just started going to the gym early in the morning. Joe gets Ella ready for the day and sometimes ready for bed at night. I hear you, mom that doesn’t want go the gym because I’m not super tiny and it’s oh so intimidating. I’m right there with you. Through several medical issues (okay, and also snacking) I too have found it hard to keep down my weight, but we’ve got this. It’s not only good for physical health, but for mental and emotional health. Do the best you can do with where you are at on your journey.
• I don’t deep clean my own home. I skip eating lunch out so I can hire a cleaning service. If you have room in your budget or a place you can cut back to hire a cleaning service, I highly recommend it, even if it’s just once a month. You will save time and sanity.
• I buy produce that is already cut at the grocery store. I place the produce in Tupperware when I get home and keep on a shelf Ella can reach. When she asks for a snack I let her go to the fridge and grab what she wants. This also goes for snacks in the pantry.
• I use Dr. Teal’s bubble bath. If you haven’t tried it, you should. It’s amazing. The lavender scent helps me relax and I usually have no issues going to sleep after my bath.
• I buy all my makeup, hair products and hair tools at ULTA. You can collect points and use them for discounts on purchases. I have saved money by doing this. My favorite makeup brands at ULTA are Stila, Butter London and IT.
• I buy all my maxi dresses on Amazon. They are usually no more than $25.00 so it saves money. If I shop in a department store, I download the app so I can use the coupons.
• Find a foot spa in the area you live. You can get a half hour massage for $25.00 and a hour massage for $60.00. I skip my pedicure sometimes and go to a foot spa instead.
• I keep markers/pens/crayons, construction paper and magazines stashed in the craft “bar” at our house, in my room and the playroom. When Ella says she is bored, I let her make a mess out of paper, glue, scissors and let her color as much as her heart desires.
• Orbeez, slime and kinetic sand. Use large plastic containers. Hours of fun.
• Have frizzy, wavy hair that drives you crazy? Ask your stylist about Keratin treatments. Mine have changed my life. My hair dries faster and I use less hair product. I don’t think I could have enough time to work out AND style my hair without losing my sanity if it weren’t for Keratin treatments. I get mine done every 6-8 weeks.
• Best rash/eczema cream for kids I have found? Aquaphor. Best soap for sensitive skin? Dove Sensitive Skin Body Wash. Ella is super picky about toothpaste. The only kind she likes is Tom’s of Maine Children’s Gel. I buy Ella’s clothes at Carter’s, Target, Belk and Nordstrom Rack. She loves to live in skirts and so I buy the scooter skirts available at Target for $8.00. Throw a t-shirt on top and it’s an easy play outfit.
• I drive a minivan. I know. On the bright side, my 6 year old loves it and thinks IT’S THE BEST CAR EVER.

What are your parenting confessions? What are your strengths? What blessings are part of your life? What can you do to save yourself time and sanity? Listing all these things can help bring a new perspective. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you can’t parent as well. I know this from experience. Maybe you are skilled in the area of cooking, homeschooling, or crafting. If you are, I am a little jealous. Your skills and talents make you the perfect mom for your kid(s). They allow you to make a difference in your child’s life whether you are a stay at home mom or work outside the home mom. That doesn’t mean every day or choice will be perfect, but it does mean that God chose you for your kids. He knows you have what it takes to raise them and be the primary influence over their life.

I mentioned last Monday that I was looking for parenting books to help me out on my journey. I fell into a reading slump and just couldn’t find any I would recommend. I finally found found a few enjoyed. These books served as a reminder that my kid needs me. Your kids need you. They need to see us living a life in abundance and without fear.

Title: More for Mom
Author: Kristin Funston
Publisher: Abingdon Press
Publication Date: April 2nd, 2019
Format: Paperback
Length: 224 pages
More for Mom is one of my favorite parenting books I have read. Kristin Funston discusses that we are already holy before God. It’s not our works that save us, including our works in parenting. We can’t be perfect. We can’t be all things to all people 24/7, including our children. Allowing grace for ourselves and others is what helps make for more joyful parenting. According to Funston, each of “us is a whole person with one whole life, and we were designed to experience the holy of this life, now on earth.” Our lives shouldn’t be compartmentalized, but instead flow all together. For example, I’m a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and employee. All my roles work together and I should be the same no matter what role I am fulfilling at the time. People should be able to see God working through me. We have a void that only Jesus can fill. Marriage, parenting, family, friends and work can’t completely fill that void. They can’t be all things to us either because they are human so just like us they become exhausted from day to day life. Funston writes in a clear manner to moms about how God designed us for parenting and the boundaries we need to set for ourselves.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Kristin Funston is a speaker and blogger. She’s a contributor for the Today Parenting Team, Scary Mommy, The Better Mom and The Memphis Blog. Visit her website at www.kristinfunston.com

Title: Overcoming Grandparenting Barriers
Series: Grandparenting Matters
Author: Larry Fowler
Publisher: Bethany House Publishers
Publication Date: April 30th, 2019
Format: Paperback
Length: 112 pages

Overcoming Grandparenting Barriers by Larry Fowler, founder of The Legacy Coalition, discusses geographical, relational and spiritual boundaries grandparents may face with their grandchildren. He addresses issues such as when the parents divorce and the grandparents are not allowed a relationship with the grandchildren, when parents will not allow the mention of Christianity and when grandchildren live far away. Fowler discussed these concerns in a practical way and the advice given was also helpful for parents as well.
The only disagreement I have with Fowler is that he mentions grandparent narcissism, which is where grandparents focus so much on themselves by taking trips and doing their own activities that they don’t babysit enough or take part enough in their grandchild’s life. I understand grandparents play a significant role in the grandchildren’s life and Ella can see her Papaw and Mimi as much as they would like. However, I think after decades of parenting, grandparents deserve to have enough “me” time as they want. Travel. Read. Join clubs. Spend days lounging around in pj’s while you watch TV all day. The beauty of no longer having children in your home is that you can do whatever you want and go wherever you want. (I say this because that is exactly what I plan on doing, just don’t tell Ella. Also, drink a margarita(s) for me while you are on vacation.)

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Larry Fowler has served in ministry for over 40 years, with a majority of years spent working for the AWANA ministry. He founded The Legacy Coalition in 2016 as a resource for grandparents. You can find more information about him here and purchase additional books here.

Title: Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday
Author: Valerie Woerner
Publisher: Tyndale Momentum
Publication Date: April 9th, 2019
Format: Paperback
Length: 272 pages

Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday is an excellent read for moms of young ones. Woerner gives moms ideas on how to take care of themselves and their kids without losing their sanity. Her advice is practical and the book is a fast read, which is important for moms of young ones. I enjoyed the section on “Divine Interruptions.” Like Woerner, I’m an introvert with perfectionistic tendencies. If a plan gets interrupted during the day, I feel very frustrated. She writes, “If what we planned doesn’t happen, then it wasn’t God’s purpose for the time. Our frustration comes because feel we should be doing something different from what we’re doing in the moment. We struggle because what we think we’re supposed to be doing has been interrupted…if my plan gets interrupted, then it wasn’t his plan for that moment after all.” So GOOD! I really struggle with this and it’s probably where my main frustration as a parent comes in and causes most of my anxiety in life. Woerner gave very good advice on how to handle life as a mama when you are Type A like myself.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Valerie Voerner is a blogger and founder of Val Marie Paper, a company that produces prayer journals. She is married and has two young girls.

What I Am Watching Now…

I love a good series to binge on the weekends. These are some of my favorites at the moment.

I love Christina Applegate and she’s perfect in her new dramedy, Dead to Me. Her character, Jen Harding, is looking for the person responsible for her husband’s death due to a hit and run. She meets Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini) in her grief support group and uses her to help find the person responsible for her husband’s death.
Genre: Comedy-Drama
Available on Netflix.

Schitt’s Creek stars Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Daniel Levy and Annie Murphy as the cast of the Rose family that loses their fortune after being defrauded by their business manager. The only option they have is to move to the tiny town of Schitt’s Creek, which the Rose family had purchased for their son one year as a joke. The cast is perfect together and makes for hilarious comedy.
Genre: Comedy
Available on Netflix and Pop TV.

Grace and Frankie stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sam Waterson and Martin Sheen. Grace and Frankie move in together after their husbands sit them down to dinner one night to tell them they are in love and getting married to each other. The husbands have worked together for years as attorneys and the wives have NOTHING in common. The show revolves around the two as they adjust to being on their own after so many years and dealing with adult children.
Genre: Comedy
Available on Netflix.

The Ranch stars Ashton Kutcher, Debra Winger, Elisha Cuthbert and Sam Elliot. The show revolves around the Bennett family who owns the Iron River Ranch in Garrison Colorado. Colt Bennet (Ashton Kutcher) returns to the town after 15 years away to help his dad work the ranch and marries his high school sweetheart, Abby Phillips (Elisha Cuthbert).
Genre: Comedy
Available on Netflix.

Northern Rescue stars William Baldwin (John West), as a search and rescue commander who moves his family from Boston to Turtle Island Bay, Ontario to live with his sister-in-law after the death of his wife.
Genre: Drama
Available on Netflix.

The Crown traces Queen Elizabeth II (Claire Foy) from her wedding in 1947 to present day. Perfect for fans of Downton Abbey.
Genre: Historical Drama
Available on Netflix.

Stranger Things is set in Hawkins, Indiana during the 1980’s and focuses on supernatural events occurring in the town due to the scientific research from the nearby Hawkins National Laboratory. The cast stars Winona Ryder, David Harbour, Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin and Noah Schnapp. Season 3 will premiere on July 4, 2019.
Genre: Science Fiction
Available on Netflix.

Three suburban moms are tired of trying to make ends meet and decide to pull an unlikely heist by robbing a supermarket. Good Girls stars Mae Whitman, Christina Hendricks, Reta and Reno Wilson.
Genre: Comedy-Drama
Available on NBC and Netflix.

Greenleaf revolves around the Greenleaf family and their mega-church, full of scandal and lies. Greenleaf stars Keith David (Bishop James Greenleaf), Lynn Whitfield (First Lady Daisy Mae Greenleaf), Merle Dandridge (Pastor Grace Greenleaf and the oldest child), Desiree Ross (Sophia Greenleaf and Pastor Grace’s daughter), Lamman Rucker (Pastor Jacob Greenleaf and the only son who pastors the rival church, Triumph), Kim Hawthorne (Kerissa Greenleaf and Jacob’s wife) and Deborah Joy Winans (Charity Greenleaf, Minister of Music and the youngest child).
Genre: Drama
Available on OWN and Netflix.

Podcasts I Listen To…

Serial is an investigative journalism podcast hosted by Sarah Koening. There are currently 3 seasons with each non-fiction story lasting all season long. The first season follows the disappearance of Baltimore high school student Hae Min Lee who disappeared in 1999 after school one day. 6 weeks later her ex-boyfriend and classmate, Adnan Syed is arrested for murder. He claims innocence. Season 2 follows Bowe Bergdahl, a captive of the Taliban held for five years. Soilders from his unit claim he purposely walked into enemy territory. Bergdahl is charged with being a traitor. Koening speaks to Bergdahl, who is opening up for the since the charges about his version of the story. Season 3 looks at the justice system in Cleveland and examines each court case week by week. Learn more here.

Dr. Laura Call of the Day features one phone call from her show on Sirius XM. Dr. Laura is America’s #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host. Learn more about Dr. Laura here.

Jenny McCarthy’s Celebrity Dirt Podcast features the latest news on celebrity dating, parenting, relationships and pop culture news.