So…….this blog post today was supposed to be reviews on parenting books from NetGalley. I have a 6 year old, whose one gift for Mother’s Day turned out to be a huge temper tantrum over the fact I wouldn’t give her the phone. According to her, I am stupid and she also hates this world. So clearly, I am winning at parenting. Maybe I will get lucky and she will become a soap opera star due to her drama abilities and take care of me. She went to bed early so that was my Mother’s Day gift to me.

Anyway, all the books turned out to be DNF’s (did not finish). I requested several and they were not helpful, to say the least. One book looked promising until I started actually reading it. The issue with me is that her way of parenting is so successful that none can compare! All you have to do is sacrifice everything for your children. Your needs, your wants, your life. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So simple, right? SMH. Have a career? That’s too indulgent. Are you a SAHM and spend time on a hobby you enjoy during the day? You have children that need their mother 24/7 for heaven’s sake! I could only make it halfway through the book. I understand her children are grown and she is an empty nester. I’m sure her knowledge far outweighs mine. However, she didn’t even share how she became a judgmental wonderful parent. No mention of her children ever causing scenes in public. No bad parenting decisions. She gave birth and instantly was filled with all surpassing wisdom, not like us mere mortals with our inferior offspring. UGH. Pass.

The next book looked hopeful. It promised a new style of parenting. According to the authors, this style of parenting is so outstanding that we wouldn’t believe it could work. I read about a quarter of the book and I agreed with the authors. I don’t believe it could work. For example, if Johnny refuses to take out the trash when you ask him too, we are supposed to acknowledge his feeling of irritation and then negotiate a time that would work better for him. Maybe after he is done watching TV so he’s not irritated about being interrupted. You can’t make this stuff up. That was an actual example from the book. This style of parenting encourages the parents to reach their children’s hearts and allow for mutual understanding. I came to an understanding with my parents too, but it didn’t look like the example from the book. “I’m the adult, your the child. I pay the bills which is why we have cable in the first place, you do chores as I say so you learn to be responsible” (and lets be honest, eventually leave). See? Understanding. I wrote the publisher and told them I couldn’t finish the book. I have a strong willed child so if I negotiated every chore, nothing would ever get done and there just aren’t enough hours in the day.

I gave up on parenting books and decided to read a thriller. I have several in my to read list and would share them today instead of parenting books. I love thrillers as much as the next person except I haven’t been reading them much as of late. There are so many authors trying to copy Gillian Flynn. I’m just going to write it. Gillian Flynn is to the thriller genre what Oprah is to talk shows. You can’t imitate her work and claim to be the next Gillian Flynn. She is a master at her craft and has a gift that very few authors have. If you are writing “the sky turned dark” and “the door creaked” that is not classified as a thriller, Nancy Drew.

Anytime I am reading a book, I want to hear the author’s unique voice. I can tell when they are attached to their storyline and characters or when they are hoping to make a quick buck based on the popular genre of the moment. I have been in a reading slump since I’ve read Dorothea Benton Frank’s novel. She is a romance writer, but doesn’t try to imitate Danielle Steel or Nora Roberts. She writes using her own voice, her own personality and what she loves. One of her homes is located in the Lowcountry of South Carolina and that’s where her novels are set. She has knowledge and a love for her home which shows in her writing. If the author isn’t being genuine to themselves, I don’t finish reading the work no matter how popular it is.

I am still in my reading slump, but managed to find a few from NetGalley that I loved. Y’all know I love works that classify as humor so listed below are two that I recommend.

Title: Mama, Mama, Only Mama
Author: Lara Lillibridge
Publisher: SkyHorse
Publication Date: March 5th, 2019
Format: Hardcover
Length: 208 pages

I love the author’s sense of humor and style of writing. I feel like she could be one of my BFF’s. In her humorous memoir, she shares her frustrations, fears and successes as a single mom for 6 years to two young boys whom she refers to as Big Pants and Little Pants. Recipes and parenting tips are shared. Even if you aren’t a single parent, you can still relate to some of Lillibridge’s feelings and experiences in the book.

Thank you to NetGalley for the free copy in exchange for my honest review.

From the publisher: Lara Lillibridge sings off-beat and dances off-key. She writes a lot, and sometimes even likes how it turns out.
She is the author of two memoirs, Girlish: Growing Up in a Lesbian Home, Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards Finalist (Skyhorse Publishing, 2018) and Mama, Mama, Only Mama (Skyhorse Publishing, 2019).
Lara Lillibridge is a graduate of West Virginia Wesleyan College’s MFA program in Creative Nonfiction. In 2016 she won Slippery Elm Literary Journal’s Prose Contest, and The American Literary Review’s Contest in Nonfiction. She also was a finalist in both Black Warrior Review’s Nonfiction Contest and DisQuiet’s Literary Prize in Creative Nonfiction.

Title: How To Be A Perfect Christian
Author: The Babylon Bee
Publisher: Multnomah
Publication Date: May 1st, 2018
Format: Hardcover
Length: 203 pages

How to be a Perfect Christian is satire about modern day Christianity. There were so many lines I highlighted. One of my favorites was, “Whether you’re watching Christian movies in which the world lights up like a big ball of fire and only Kirk Cameron is left standing or you’re reading a bonnet ripper about Jebediah the Amish farmer casting his steely gaze at Abigail the spinster, remember to turn your mind off and let your own efforts rack up credit in heaven with the Lord. Don’t think critically about any of these things. They have been approved by cultural Christianity, so they’re undoubtedly wholesome.” I laughed so hard I had tears.

The book does make you think about how Christianity is portrayed in our culture and that is sad. I’ve grown up in the church my whole life and while I would feel comfortable in the environment, I can easily understand why many don’t. I will give a warning and say that this book may be offensive to some believers. For example, if you are offended by John Christ’s posts on social media, you will more than likely be offended by this book. However, if you love John Christ, this book is perfect for you.

Thank you to NetGalley for the free copy in exchange for my honest review.

Visit the Babylon Bee’s website.